Downward Spiral
by crmcneill
Summary: Post-BD EU. Captured by the Volturi, Edward faces a nightmarish choice as Aro enacts a diabolical plan to break him. As Edward’s hold on his sanity weakens, only his memories of Bella help him stay strong as he faces the ultimate test.
1. Chapter 1

AN: This story originates from a scenario mentioned in The Cold War by Gleena of a particularly dark possible future for Edward, as seen by Alice. Permission has been obtained from the author to expand on the aforementioned scenario. It began as a one-shot for the Mentalward Competition, and subsequently tied for the Presenter's Choice Award. Due to its success, I've chosen to continue the story. The original one-shot has been cut into two chapters, and this is Part 1

**Warning:** This story contains graphic references to rape.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

I could hear them bringing the next one to my cell.

The two guards were bored; they had been performing the same duty once a week for the last four months. In the beginning, they had taunted me, mocked me with crude, uncouth remarks as they shoved the latest victim into my cell. Now that they knew I wouldn't react, the insults had tapered off. They treated this task like another routine, boring chore, albeit one with a few fringe benefits. Their names were Simon and Nathaniel, and they knew nothing of importance. Aro had made sure of that.

The woman between them was terrified, naked and ashamed. The two leering Guards were dragging her down the hallway towards my cell, with its thick metal doors and reinforced walls. I could hear from her thoughts that she had been part of a tour group brought to Volterra, and she was wondering how her dream vacation to Italy had spiraled into this nightmare. Her name was Elizabeth (just Beth, please) Simmons, and she was wondering if she would ever see her family or her fiancée again.

The answer to that question had been decided long before she had ever asked it. One way or another; none of the women sent into my cell lived. The first time I had refused one of Aro's "offerings", the unfortunate woman had fallen into the hands of my jailers. They had purposely taken her just as far as the next room, so that the agonized screams and terrified thoughts had been impossible to block out. Her death had not come easily or quickly.

I had given up trying to escape. The thick walls of the cell couldn't restrain me for long, but they impeded me more than long enough for Jane to come running and pin me in place with her excruciating gift. The last time I had tried, she left me writhing on the floor for a full hour before releasing me.

"They're bringing the next one, love."

"I know, Edward, I know." A cool hand caressed my cheek, and I opened my eyes to look into my lovely wife's face. Dressed simply, in jeans, t-shirt and tennis shoes, she was as lovely as the last time I had seen her, four months previous.

I knew she was a hallucination. Intellectually, I understood that the horrors I had endured over the preceding months had driven me to seek solace in my memories, but that didn't make her seem any less real. Her first appearance had terrified me with the prospect of losing my sanity. Now I was just glad for the company. She would only appear when I had the room to myself. She would comfort me, holding me as I sobbed into her shoulder. Knowing that she wasn't there didn't make her feel any less real, or lessen the comfort I took in her presence.

"I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this, Bella," I whispered, ashamed to admit my weakness, even to an illusion of the woman who had always accepted even my worst failings. "I just… I can't…"

"I know, love," Bella's musical voice was like a soft caress. "You have to stay strong for me. You're my heart and my soul, and I can't live without you. I'm out there somewhere, waiting for you. You have to hang on, for me, for your family. Do whatever you must to survive for us."

I took a deep, unnecessary breath to steady myself. "I'll do my best. I love you, Bella. I wish you didn't have to leave."

_Talking to himself now?_ One of the approaching guards thought. _Can't imagine what Master Aro would want with a vampire who's lost his mind._

"I'll never leave you, Edward," she said as she faded from view. Her voice, faint as a whisper, floated to me as if from a great distance.

Yes, she would never leave. My perfect memories of her were the only peace I had in this nightmare that surpassed anything in my experience. I knew the horror that awaited me; I had lived through the exact same nightmare sixteen times so far. The only unknown factor was the ending, and that choice was not in my hands.

The thick, heavy door creaked on its hinges and began to open. Over a foot thick, and made of reinforced metal alloy, the door was far too heavy to be opened or shut by anyone other than a vampire. They didn't even bother with a lock, only a heavy crossbar to seal the door from the outside.

The doors and the walls both could be breached with the proper application of strength, but it would take time. The real security was found in the form of vampires who would come running at the first sign of an escape attempt. The Volturi had had millennia to refine their techniques for restraining their own kind.

As the door opened further, I caught the scent of my newest 'guest'. I hadn't fed since a week before I had been captured, four months prior, so the scent of her blood sparked the horrible burning in the back of my throat. My eyes had been onyx black with thirst for months now, but I had been resisting that siren call for decades, and had no intention of giving into it without a fight. And so long as I had Bella, I had plenty of fight left in me.

But still, the monster in me beckoned seductively. For all intents and purposes, this woman was already dead, just like all the others before her, and she smelled so deliciously mouthwatering. His cunning, deceitful voice echoed in my mind, wondering at the foolishness of denying myself blood that would just go to waste otherwise. His voice had been getting stronger, but still, I resisted.

When a human is afraid, there are obvious biological changes apparent to someone sensitive enough to detect them. The sweet scent of her blood was tainted with the acrid hint of adrenaline. Her breathing was rapid and panicky, and her heart beat a rapid tempo of fight or flight as she was shoved into the room.

"Here's your new toy, human-lover," Simon sneered at me. "Make sure to save some for us this time."

And the door closed, sealing her in here with me.

The room was dimly lit, but that didn't matter to a vampire. Through her eyes, however, I appeared only as a dim shape against the far wall. Her thoughts were mostly wordless; a few phrases mixed in with images and impressions, but my presence in an otherwise bare room had caught her attention.

I sat with my back to her, facing the wall, offering the only courtesy I had left: a semblance of privacy and modesty. I had been stripped of all my clothing before being put into this room. Aro's voice had been filled with false courtesy as he explained that clothes would only get in the way of my assigned duties. Before this, I had only ever been naked in the presence of my wife; just one of many things that Aro had stolen from me.

_What is that?_ As she tentatively moved closer, the image in her mind grew more defined. _Is that a… a man?_

"Please, don't come any closer," I said, without turning my gaze from the wall.

With a wordless shriek of surprise, she scuttled away from me until she was pressed against the far wall of the room in a fetal position, her mind flashing images of vivid, recent horrors. _His voice! He's one of _them_!_ _I'm stuck in here with_… Rational thought gave way to hysteria, and she started screaming.

"It's alright. I promise I won't hurt you," I said, trying to speak comfortingly.

But I knew what was coming; what the future held for both of us, and my attempt at comfort came out flat, dead and lifeless.

She kept screaming, pausing only to gulp in panicked lungfuls of air to fuel the next wail of terror. I leaned forward and put my forehead against the wall, picturing my beautiful wife and daughter playing in the meadow in Forks. I hummed Bella's lullaby to myself as the terrified young woman's screams rang around me.

* * *

Some time later, she subsided. Now, she emitted only the occasional whimper of fear. I could hear her thoughts, but couldn't see through her eyes; they were squeezed shut.

_I'm so scared. I'm so scared. Oh God, I'm scared. Please don't let him come near me. What are they? They drank the other's blood. Is it possible? They can't be vampires! Why are they doing this? I know he promised he wouldn't hurt me. Please, let it be true. If he's lying, and we're both in here naked… Oh God, please, no. Not that._

I couldn't take it any more.

"I assure you, the last thing I want to do is harm you. You are in control in this room. I will not move or even look away from the wall without your permission. I know you have no reason to trust me, but in this place, my word is all I have left. I give it to you now."

She opened her eyes as I spoke, peering into the gloom to find me still facing the wall. _Can't trust him; you saw what they did to the others. Maybe he just likes to play with his food before he eats it._

"Or maybe I don't eat the same food as the others."

She cocked her head at me. _Did he just…?_ _No, that's not possible. There's no way he can read my mind_.

"It's very possible, actually. If I could shut it off, I would, so all I can do is apologize for not being able to help hearing what you're thinking." I had been through this discussion before; the strangeness of telling a human, even a condemned one, about vampires in general and myself in particular had long since worn off.

_What…? This has to be a nightmare. Something I ate, or jet lag._

"I wish it were that simple. You really are in a nightmare, but that doesn't make it any less real."

She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts and her courage. After a few moments, she spoke aloud to me for the first time, her voice quavering in fear. "What are you?"

"You guessed right before. We're vampires."

"That's crazy. Vampires don't really exist."

"Deny it all you want. It won't change anything. I know you saw the feeding room upstairs."

I had seen it in her memory, from the back of the line of tourists, ignorant as cattle being herded into the slaughterhouse. Shut into the feeding chamber by heavy doors, then Aro's mockery of a greeting before the true horror began; flashes of white skin and snarling teeth latching onto the necks and limbs of the people around her; cowering and waiting for a death that never came; then jerked bodily to her feet by an ice-cold hand coated with chalky, papery skin. Then a smiling monster that looked her up and down before ordering, "I believe this one will be perfect for our guest. Take her down to his cell, and make sure she's dressed properly." Harsh laughter as she was dragged away. Relief at being alive now replaced with the fear that the ones who died quickly up above were the lucky ones.

She was silent while her mind worked furiously to adjust to this strange new reality.

"Okay," she said, still not accepting, "if you're a vampire, why haven't you killed me and drank my blood yet?"

"Would it surprise you to learn that there are just as many shades of good and evil among our kind as there are among humans? Vampires who deny their true nature and eschew human blood in favor of other alternatives? I understand that it's a lot to take in, and I do apologize."

"Why are you telling me all this, then?"

"Because we don't have time for you to ease your way into this," I sighed. "You're trapped in a nightmare beyond anything you could imagine, and you need to accept your new reality and prepare yourself for what lies ahead."

_What!?_

"But first, I apologize for my lack of manners. My name is Edward Cullen. May I have the pleasure of knowing your name?"

Her tense thought patterns shifted as she gave sarcastic voice to her suspicion. "What's the point, mind reader? Shouldn't you already know it?"

In any other situation, I might've responded to her retort with a smile, but there was no place in this room for humor.

"I _do_ already know it, but I was raised to comport myself as a gentleman, and certain forms must be followed. Courtesy is all I have to offer you."

There was a long pause while she considered. _He doesn't have to be so polite. He doesn't seem like the others. _She winced as she recalled the sight of teeth ripping out someone's neck.

"Elizabeth. Elizabeth Simmons, but everyone calls me Beth."

"A pleasure, Beth. I wish we could've met under better circumstances."

I sighed and hesitated before continuing. "Let me give you a little background to help you understand."

I had delivered this exact speech fifteen times already, and knew it by rote. The first time; the first woman, I had had no idea what awaited her, and only gave her basic information. Now that I knew what was in store, there was nothing to hide.

I told her some of my history, meeting and falling in love with Bella, and our accidental discovery of vampire hybrids. I told her how the Volturi had decided that they wanted hybrids of their own, to use for a variety of nefarious purposes. All of which brought us to this room.

"From what I've been able to tell from their thoughts, they were very unsuccessful on their own, as their male vampire candidates lacked the control necessary to be intimate with their selected 'partner' without killing them. So, that's when they thought of me.

_Why is he so different?_

"They wanted me for a lot of different reasons, but the one that matters most here is the degree of control I showed; being intimate with my wife while she was still human. I'm part of a small segment of our society that eschews human blood in favor of animal blood in an attempt to regain as much of our humanity as possible.

"They knew I would never consent to this willingly, so they laid a very cunning trap for me. I can't tell you how difficult it is to surprise a telepath, but they managed. Once they had me here, they offered me a choice. They would send human women into my room, and I can either," I practically choked on the next word, "impregnate them, in which case I will be given animal blood to drink, or I can violate my principles and drink their blood."

_But… for me, that means sex or death. Have a baby or die? I don't want to die._

"You're the seventeenth woman to be placed in this cell with me. Only two of the others left alive, and… they didn't last long."

"What... what do you mean?" Beth asked me in a voice that shivered with shock.

"Let me explain the choices available to you," I said, evading her question. "I will not break my vow to my wife, so I will not have sex with you, even if you were willing. Even if I were somehow coerced into breaking that promise, and you were to become pregnant, you would still face a horrible, protracted death.

I told her of my first-hand experience with the highly traumatic gestation and birth of my hybrid daughter, including clinically graphic details of the damage inflicted by my child against her mother.

"So, with that option off the table, you are faced with two other choices. First, if you choose not to believe me, just wait. I stand by my promise that I won't touch you or harm you in any way. This time tomorrow, the guards who brought you here will return for you. They will drag you out of this room and take you to the next one down the hall, and they will rape you to death."

I tried to ignore her gasp of horror as I continued. Her thoughts were filled with a strongly worded symphony of denial as I continued on.

"I know this because that's exactly what happened to the two women who have left this room alive. Perhaps you remember Simon asking me to save a little for him this time? The first time it happened was because I had no idea what to expect. The second time, well, she couldn't get over her suspicion of me. She refused to believe anything I said until it was too late.

"The guards took hours on them both. I could hear their thoughts and their screams. I couldn't shut it out." I trailed off as the horrors I had experienced came rushing back from the distant place I had shut them away. I steeled myself against the pleading screams and graphically lewd images as I continued.

"Ultimately, both women died from internal bleeding caused by compound fractures of the pelvis. In essence, their pelvises were crushed and the bone shards severed several of their major blood vessels. They were still being violated when they died." I leaned my head against the wall again, unable to go on.

She took her time to compose herself before she asked, "What's the other choice?"

I took a deep breath. Then another. This was the most difficult part for me.

"I've already told you that I have no wish to harm you, and that you are in control in this room. But, knowing your alternative, if you wish for me to end your life, I will do so. Your end will be so quick you won't even see it coming, and there will be no pain. I will not defile your body, nor drink your blood…

Sixteen times now I had delivered this same speech, and I had never been able to find a way to properly phrase the ending. How hypocritical I was. I had survived for the last eighty years abstaining from murder. Now, I had claimed fourteen innocent lives since being brought as a captive to Volterra. I hadn't tasted their blood, and had offered them a merciful alternative, but their blood still stained my hands.

But I could see from her thoughts that she understood. Her initial screams were the blind panic of the unknown and the imagined. This was beyond that. This was the horrified, catatonic stare of a mortal consciousness faced with the terrible knowledge of the certainty of imminent death.

"For what it's worth, I'm so very sorry. You're meaningless to them. I'm their true purpose here.

But she said nothing. I felt the slightest gust of air as her arm moved, and heard the whisper of her hair brushing her shoulders. Through her eyes, I watched as she shook her head and held one hand up in a wordless gesture, half insisting and half imploring that I just leave her alone.

That much, at least, I could offer.

* * *

**Thanks are very much in order for Gleena, who gave me permission to use this little scenario, and to content1, who challenged me to write it.**


	2. Chapter 2

AN: This story originates from a scenario mentioned in The Cold War by Gleena of a particularly dark possible future for Edward, as seen by Alice. Permission has been obtained from the author to expand on the aforementioned scenario. It began as a one-shot for the Mentalward Competition, and subsequently tied for the Presenter's Choice Award. Due to its success, I've chosen to continue the story. The original one-shot has been cut into two chapters, and this is Part 2

**Warning:** This story contains graphic references to rape.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

"How can I trust you?" she asked awhile later. "How do I know you're not just toying with me?" She had been wrestling with what I had told her, and this was the key issue; all she had to go on was my word.

"Ultimately, it's your decision. I can't offer any proof other than my word that this is what you face. You will have to make up your own mind."

She was silent while she mulled over my admission. The reality of impending death was still too much for her to accept, and she was trying to distract herself, focusing other mundane topics while ignoring the very conspicuous elephant in the room.

"What did you mean when you said you're their true purpose here?" she asked.

"Well, it's a long story," I began, "and it requires some understanding of the history and sociology of the vampire world."

I explained about the Volturi; their composition, their self imposed duty to enforce the law, and Aro's dark little secret; his obsession with collecting gifted vampires. I knew she had never heard any of this information before, but it made me feel like a cast member of a stage production after five or six weeks of performances; struggling to deliver emphasis in a story line that had been repeated ad nauseum. The only difference in her experience was that she had actually "met" Aro, if only briefly.

"With my mind reading ability, Aro decided he wanted me for the Guard. To make matters worse, he also covets the abilities of my wife, daughter and siblings. For now, I'm the only one he has, which brings us to this room."

"How do you know he only has you?" she asked, curious in spite of herself.

"Because if he had any of the others, he would use them against me, to force me to do his bidding. I live in fear that someday he will appear at this door with my wife or daughter as his hostage and make a demand. At that point, I will be undone; there is nothing I wouldn't do to protect them.

"For now, he uses every method available to crush my will. He separates me from my family, confines me to this cell, denies me the only meal my conscience will allow me, and strips me of any semblance of dignity. Then he offers me two horrible choices; either of which requires a denial of my morality. The two women who were killed by the guards? It was purposely done as close to my cell as possible, so that I couldn't help but hear every detail, even their thoughts. I tried to help the first one, but the guards prevented me. All I could do is try not to listen.

"Aro wants to break my will and add me to his Guard; a mindless toy to serve at his whim. Ultimately, he wants my whole family bent and broken to his purpose. He knows I can see his plans, so he structures them so that there is no way I can stop them, even with my knowledge. All I can do is stand firm and resist. This is a battle of stamina and endurance; time is on his side, but I haven't come so far to just give up.

Beth was silent yet again while her mind worked furiously. Everything I had told her had only confirmed the unfortunate truth; she was going to die, and for no other purpose than as a pawn to torture another.

"How can you stand it? How can you just sit there staring at the walls so calmly?" she asked, giving voice to her outrage. "How can you sit there; polite and calm with this, this…" Words failed her as she trailed off.

"I'm barely hanging on," I responded. "Normal vampires feed once every week or two; I haven't fed in over four months. Any other vampire would've lunged at you the second you were in the door. The only reason I can resist is because I've had nearly eighty years to perfect my control and resist the call of the thirst.

"On top of that, I've started to doubt my sanity. I've been hallucinating, seeing my wife. I know she can't be there, but there she is. I can feel her, hear her. It's so real. She holds me while I cry out from the horror of it all, and tells me that I have to go on, to do whatever is necessary to survive, for her and our family. Logically, I should be afraid to see someone that I know isn't there, but I ache to see her again, to confess my sins and hear her accept them and love me regardless. It's the only thing that keeps me going."

I closed my eyes for a moment and held onto a memory of Bella's arms wrapped around my neck, and her kisses. I could almost hear her voice.

"As for the rest of it, the only thing I can control in this situation is my response to it. I offer you courtesy and civility because it's the right thing to do. You are someone's daughter, someone's fiancée. I would hope that, if my wife or daughter were ever subjected to this… situation, they would be treated with the same respect."

"Is there any hope at all?" she pleaded.

I sighed. "I used to think so. My family is the strongest vampiric coven in existence, apart from the Volturi, and we have many allies. At first, I believed I would be rescued any day, but it's been four months. All I can do now is plan for the worst. You may attempt to stay positive and hope for a miracle, but no one came to rescue all the women who have been here before you. As I said, I will not take your choice away from you; all I can do is help you make an informed decision."

She fell silent again as she mulled over what I had told her. Though my genteel behavior felt like nothing so much as a painful mockery of true civility, it had the positive effect of breaking down barriers of suspicion and establishing trust, just as it was doing now. She was still afraid, but not of me. Now, she was curious.

"Tell me about them; your wife and your daughter."

I sighed as I delved into my most treasured memories. Remembering Bella and Renesmee was simultaneously wonderful and excruciating. Thinking of them would bring me the closest I could come to joy in this place, but it would also remind me of my longing for their presence, and my fears that I would never see them again. But I couldn't resist.

I told her all about Bella and Renesmee. Their likes and dislikes, their personality, their sense of humor, our intense love for each other. Giving voice to my memories almost made them come alive in this drab, dark cell. But it couldn't last. The memories weren't enough. The light of their smiles couldn't hold the darkness back.

_He loves them so much. Even without seeing his face, I can hear it in his voice._ _He sounds like me when I think about Daniel. Oh, my poor beautiful Daniel. What will this do to you? Who will help you through this? You'll be so alone… Oh, crap. He can hear me. You can hear me, can't you?_

"Yes, but I wasn't going to say anything. I can't help hearing your thoughts, but I do my best not to take advantage of that information."

But now her thoughts had turned to her family, wondering how the people she loved the most would cope with her disappearance, never knowing that their daughter had died in a vampire's castle in Italy.

"Will you tell me about them?" I asked.

"Who?"

"Your family. The loved ones you're thinking about right now."

She hesitated. And then the walls came down.

Beth spoke for nearly an hour, telling me the story of her life. Born and raised in Miami; Mother, father, brother, sister, the average life of the American Dream; graduated from high school with honors, full ride scholarship to Florida State, where she met Daniel, the man of her dreams. Just before she had left on her trip to Europe, he had asked her to marry him, and she had gladly accepted. She shared amusing anecdotes about her family members and her life.

But the reality of her situation couldn't be staved off for long, and she slowly stopped speaking; remembering the last time she had seen her family and her husband-to-be. Realizing that it really would be the last time.

"I'm never going to see any of them again, am I?" She asked, her voice breaking.

"No."

She wept quietly; grief flooding her mind as she struggled to cope with the finality of it all, the lost chances that would never be regained, the desperate hope for more time when there was no time left to be had. I wanted to comfort her, but experience had taught me that true pain is too big for words to even describe, let alone alleviate.

"I'm sorry. If it were within my power to return you to them, I would do it. There is one thing I can offer you, though."

Her thoughts immediately returned to my offer to end her life.

"Apart from that. All vampires have perfect memories. I'll remember every word you've said as long as I live. If you would like to leave a message for your family, if I ever get out of here, I will see that the message is passed on to them."

Hope flared in her thoughts at the prospect. "What should I say?"

"Whatever you like. I'll remember it word for word and write it down for delivery to the address of your choice. Just speak it out loud, and I will never forget it."

Most of the others had chosen to leave messages to their families. Each message was poignant in its own unique way, and each touched some facet of my long dead heart, as well.

_Amazing. He's like a guardian angel, and not just mine. How has he survived four months of this torture?_

"Thank you," she whispered emphatically. "How can you be so wonderful and selfless in the middle of this hell?"

"I told you; it's all I have left."

She was silent again for a very long time. Her thoughts were a jumble of fear and growing resolve. She still hadn't decided anything, but I could see where this was going. A few of the others had made this offer, but only halfheartedly, and it had been easy to refuse. Now, starving and weak, watching this young woman's hardening resolve crystallize within her psyche, I steeled my self for my most difficult battle yet.

"Edward, what does the thirst feel like?" And so it began.

"It's as if someone has set your throat on fire from the inside. And the only way to truly quench that fire is to murder someone, to take their life from them."

"But would it still be murder if that person offered their life to you freely?"

"Please, don't start down that path."

"Why not? You told me that any other vampire would've already killed me by now, but your control _has_ to have limits. What will happen if you keep starving yourself until the point that you lose control completely and kill the next human they send to you?"

She had struck right to the heart of my worst fears. "I fear that, too, but it still doesn't justify profiting from murder."

"Wouldn't you be more of a monster if you lost control and took her choice away? Edward, this pain you fear... my blood can help it, right?

"No! You can't ask this of me! I've resisted for decades. I can't give in now. I have to stand by my beliefs. What kind of monster will I be if…"

"Just hold on until I'm finished," she interrupted. "Now, the other girls; the ones before me, you could've fed off of them after deaths, but you didn't. Is it because the blood has to be taken while they're still alive?"

"No. I didn't have their permission. I didn't ask for it and I didn't want it. I will not be a monster; I will resist that fate for as long as I'm able. I will not transgress."

"So you suffer because you respected their choices"

"Yes," I said, already seeing the trap I had fallen into.

"Then won't you respect mine? It's my blood to do with as I wish, and I'm giving it to you. You've given the others mercy in their deaths, I want to give you some mercy in mine. Once… once you take my life, I want you to drink my blood. It won't be murder," and here she uttered a slightly hysterical chuckle, "and you'll need it more than I will at that point."

The selfless sincerity of her offer was plain to see.

I was silent.

Oh, it was so tempting. The scent of her blood had tortured me from the moment she had entered the room. I had never heard such an offer before, a human, willingly offering herself up as a sacrifice to help slake my thirst.

But I couldn't! I shook away my momentary weakness. Even a life freely offered was still a life taken. I couldn't accept it; even though my body craved it like nothing save the day I had first encountered Bella's scent

_Yes, Edward, you can._

What? It was Bella's voice. I couldn't see her, but I heard her, as clearly as if she was standing right next to me.

_She's offering herself freely, selflessly. Do you think I would do any less if I were in her place? Do you think I will hold this against you when I see you again? She's offering you a gift of gratitude, love. Accept it with grace; the same grace you've shown as you have faced all of your challenges these past months._

And there it was. I had denied myself the right to play God and commit murder all those many years ago. But was it truly murder if the victim, a woman I would save from a horrible death by ending her life swiftly and cleanly, offered her blood to me in trade, with no reservations or hesitation?

_No, love. It's compassion. You have been so compassionate to these poor women. Let one of them show a little compassion for you. She's offering you a way to stay strong, so that you can return to us. You know I will forgive you any sin, but here; there is nothing to forgive._

And I had no rebuttal. Every counter argument had been trumped by Beth's selflessness or by Bella's ghostly voice in my head. I would do this. I was certain. I would end her life swiftly, and take her blood; the blood that she offered to me freely.

But not until she was ready

"Edward," Beth's voice called gently, "Are you okay?

"Beth, I am only what I am; a vampire that has denied himself for a very long time. I accept your offer. But only when you're ready."

She shivered, seeming to belatedly realize she had been bargaining with her executioner.

"So, h-how does this work?"

"It's very simple. We will agree on a phrase, something as simple as 'I'm ready'. By uttering that phrase, we agree that you will be giving me consent to take your life. It will be over almost before you know it's happening. Your mind will barely register it before you are gone. Is this acceptable?"

"Y-y-yes," she stammered, fear threatening to overwhelm her.

"Don't be frightened. I promise there will be no pain. You won't even see it coming. If you'd like to leave a message for your family, now would be a good time."

She took a long minute to compose herself before she began, asking me to deliver it to her parent's house in Florida. Her voice quavered as she spoke, and grief poured from her thoughts as she offered her final benediction.

"My Dear Family,

"By the time this message reaches you, I will be long dead. I can't imagine you would ever stop looking for me, but I can assure you that I won't be found. I want you to know that my end was quick and painless, and my only fear was that I was leaving you behind to grieve for me. I wasn't alone either, because God left a friend for me in the most unlikely of places, and he protected me right to the end.

"My beloved Daniel. I'm so afraid to think that this is the last time I get to say that. You have changed my life so much, and from the day I met you, I wanted more than anything to be your wife. I am so angry that this is the end; that we won't be married; that I will never see your eyes or your smile again; that we won't grow old together. My life will be over very soon, but my love for you will live forever. I know you will grieve, and that someday you will move on and find someone else. I give you my blessing, and my one request is that you find joy and happiness, for my sake if nothing else.

"Mom and Dad, I can't even imagine what you will go through because of this. Just know that I loved you, and I couldn't have asked for better parents. So much of who I am, I owe to you. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child, but I know you'll have Bobby and Meredith, and they'll both need you so much now. Please look out for Daniel; he would've been your son someday, and he'll need your love and support, too.

"My dear Brother and Sister, there is so much I've left unsaid between us. It's so hard to relate to siblings as friends when there's so much irritation and squabbling. I want you to know I love you, and in the end, all of the little things we hated about each other don't really matter. I will miss you all so much, and my only regret is that I didn't spend enough time with you. I know me being gone will be hard on you, but Mom and Dad will be there for you, and they'll need your help, too.

"I'm running out of things to say here. If I could fill up the rest of this message with I Love You's, I would do it, but there isn't enough time. Just make sure you don't take any moment for granted, and never pass up an opportunity to love each other, because you never know which moment is going to be your last.

"I love you all so very much…" she trailed off as words failed her again, and her mind clouded with fear and sorrow.

I remained silent as she collected herself. Why did I torture them like this? Why did I torture myself? Perhaps things would be simpler if I just killed them the moment they entered my cell. Death was inevitable, regardless. Perhaps I should just get it over with next time and end it quickly without the terrible conversations, the fear-soaked reactions and the devil's choice that would follow.

But no, that wasn't who I was. I had lived nearly a century of self-sacrifice, denying my own desires in favor of my humanity. As excruciating as it all was, I had to offer them the choice. I wasn't God.

"Are you ready?" I asked. I could tell from her sniffling that she was crying.

She responded with a loud sniff and a deep breath of air. "Are you sure it's not going to hurt?"

"I promise. Once you say the words "I'm ready," you won't even have time to take your next breath. It'll happen too fast for you to even see it coming."

"I'm so scared," she said through her tears.

"I know. I wish…" and now my words failed me. Wished that she were home, safe with her loving family? Wished that the Volturi were wiped off the face of the Earth, or ruled by leadership with conscience? Wished that there were no such thing as vampires? The world wasn't big enough for all of our unfulfilled wishes. "I wish," I said with a defeated shrug.

Her breathing was quick and shallow, and her heart was racing, but slowly steadying as she prepared herself.

She took one deep breath, held it for a moment, and then exhaled. My body was tensed for action, waiting for the words I knew she was working herself up to.

One more breath. A brief pause.

_Dear God, I don't know how you feel about vampires, but please protect this one and return him to his family. Amen._

"I'm ready."

Before the words were even fully out of her mouth, I gave free reign to the bloodthirsty monster within me. As he laughed in triumph, I shoved off the wall and lunged at her throat.

Before she even finished the word 'ready', I had already snapped her neck, and my teeth sliced through the skin of her throat, questing for the delicious nectar that I had denied for so very long. Beth barely had enough time to feel surprise at the swiftness of it before her thoughts faded out.

Human blood, freely given. Words couldn't describe the ecstasy that coursed through me with each mouthful of delicious, sweet blood. Beth had overcome every objection my conscience could produce, and the disembodied voice of my wife urged me on, telling me that this was what I needed to survive. Any semblance of guilt drowned beneath the heavenly taste, the relief as the horrible burning that had tormented me for so long finally abated. She had offered me her blood, and I took all of it.

Finally, after I had drained Beth's body of its last drop, I released her and cradled her in my arms. After what she had given me, I would treat her mortal remains with respect. No doubt the guards would simply throw her body unceremoniously into the incinerator, but I would do what I could to honor her memory.

As her face fell away from me, I got my first look at her, and I froze in shock.

Pale skin, beautiful brown hair, brown eyes, and a heart shaped face. The two were distinctly different, but the resemblance to my Bella was unmistakable. I remembered the crafty and smug expression on Aro's face, as he inspected her in the feeding chamber.

_I believe this one will be perfect for our guest._

He knew. The evil creature sent her to my cell specifically because he knew she would remind me of Bella. That I would have to face killing her or letting her meet a brutal end at another's hands. Behind his façade of civility, Aro's depravity truly knew no bounds.

My body convulsing with dry sobs, I laid Beth's body on the floor and closed her blank, staring eyes. My eyes were locked on her as I backed away. How could I go on with this memory etched into the crystalline passages of my mind?

My progress away from Beth's body was interrupted, unexpectedly. A familiar form pressed up against me from behind. I closed my eyes in relief. Bella was here once more.

"I'm sorry, love. I was so thirsty, and she offered her blood to me. I couldn't resist."

"I know, Edward, I know."

But it wasn't her voice.

I whirled in shock, staring at her wide-eyed. The apparition before me shared Bella's features, but it was as if a stranger was staring back at me from behind a mask. A gloating, triumphant smile marred her beautiful features, and her eyes were now the crimson red of a vampire recently glutted on human blood.

I backed away, as the walls began to close in around me. "You're… what…"

"You know exactly who I am, Edward," she said in the voice that wasn't her voice. And then I knew.

The voice.

It was my own.

My own voice, speaking with the hungry, predatory tenor of the monster.

What had I done? I knew she was a hallucination, projected by my battered psyche in a desperate attempt to find solace in this torture chamber. I had depended on her and trusted her because I had no one else. How could I have forgotten that she was just an illusion projected by my own thoughts and memories? The same thoughts and memories shared by the monster.

Decades of resisting the call, and I had finally given in; tricked and deceived by the manifestation of my own instinctual desires. I felt violently ill, and fell to the ground, retching and heaving, trying to dredge up the blood I had consumed. It was too late; my treacherous, starving body had already absorbed the fluid into its parched systems.

I was alone. My last solace, the memories of my wife, had ultimately betrayed me. I was locked in this nightmare alone, with every hand turned against me.

Bella the monster leered at me in triumph, "Of course I'll never leave you, Edward," she mocked in the ghastly, alien voice, "I _am_ you."

And I screamed. Screamed in agony, guilt, betrayal, fear, shame, and violation. Every negative emotion I had ever experienced came pouring out of me in a torrent of wordless shrieks. I huddled against the wall, screaming over and over, not knowing if I would ever stop.

* * *

**Thanks are very much in order for Gleena, who gave me permission to use this little scenario, and to content1, who challenged me to write it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Downward Spiral, Chapter 2**

**Co-Winner of the Presenter's Choice Award for the Mentalward Contest**

**Thanks so much for all your interest and support!**

**********

I don't know how long it lasted. At times, I wasn't sure if the nightmare had ever _not_ existed, and that my memories of my life before were nothing but hallucinations as well. Nothing seemed certain.

I had retreated into the depths of my own mind; reality was just too painful. The monster had taken over completely. He prowled the room like a tiger in a cage. The guards still brought women to my cell, but he wasted no time with them, killing them and draining them as fast as they could be shoved into the room. The guards were silent now; the monster frightened them.

I watched from within, detached. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced. In some ways, it reminded me of tedious hours spent watching in-class movies in high school. You couldn't leave; you didn't really want to pay attention; but the consequences of leaving were worse than staying.

So I watched, almost as though his eyes were cameras, his ears microphones. I sat and watched, passively. Experiencing, not reacting. Reaction was pain. Reality was pain. None of it was real, anyway.

But I couldn't let go completely. If I retreated too far inward, the nightmares began. Horrific images warped and poisoned every happy memory I ever had. The memories of Bella were the worst; Bella dead on the operating table, a gaping wound in her abdomen, my venom too little and too late to save her; Bella and Renesmee burning on a pyre, the Volturi victorious as I was forced to watch my universe turn to ashes and cinders. Every good thing, every pleasurable memory I had ever experienced was perverted into something twisted and evil.

I remembered when I had thought Bella lost to me, and I had considered suicide. Once again, I found myself at that place. What else was there for me? Trapped in a cell within a cell, sharing my own body and mind with a crazed murderer. Once again, I had taken human life, and innocent life at that. My mind was broken beyond repair. What could I offer Bella now?

The monster was silent. He had won; he had no need to even acknowledge my existence.

Time passed. Perhaps. I couldn't be sure. I couldn't even truly be sure of what I was seeing. Everything I experienced acquired a sensation of déjà vu.

Some things seemed new, and did not repeat. Aro came to visit, apparently overjoyed to hear of my fall. I sensed his covetous, avaristic thoughts as he and his personal guards approached my cell.

He had succeeded. He broke me. But not in the manner he expected.

The monster attacked the moment they entered my cell. Felix's arm was torn off at the elbow before he could blink. The monster threw him aside and lunged for the door. Jane's gift immobilized him with pain, but even then he thrashed about in a frenzy. Alec blinded and numbed, but his gift only worked on physical senses. Using the sight of the Volturi guards for perspective, still he attacked. When sight and sound returned, he was pinned to the wall by four massive guards, snarling ferociously; the guards' arms and faces marked by bites and gouges inflicted by the monster's blind rage.

Aro attempted to speak, but the monster was beyond words, and I wasn't listening. When Aro approached and tried to touch him, the monster struggles flared to new levels. Even four vampires, each chosen for their strength and prowess, were hard pressed to restrain him. When Aro was finally able to make contact, his thoughts echoed with apprehension. The monster was totally useless to him, its existence a mockery of his design. A crazed vampire couldn't be forced to reproduce, and even if it were possible, what manner of offspring would occur? They would be more uncontrollable than even the immortal children. It was at that moment I sensed reprieve. Aro began to contemplate my destruction.

My dead heart soared at the realization, and the monster faltered, recognizing a change. NO! I roared. I need him to continue in this madness, to force the devil's hand. For the first time since the day I had killed Beth, I began to battle for control again. Aro had to believe that this body was worthy of only destruction now; it was my only way out. If Bella and Renesmee really existed, if my memories were more than hallucinations, surely they couldn't look at what I had become and want me any longer. Let this mirage of my time with my family be preserved in its perfect, simplistic glory. It would be far more merciful for all concerned if this thing that I'd become would perish.

But I had been dormant too long, and the monster had grown strong. Aro and his contingent exited the room as the struggle continued.

"Throw him the little one," he said. "I must consider this before I make a decision."

Jane paralyzed the monster and, as the door was closing, the sound of something being thrown into the room could be heard behind us. The beast turned and eyed the tender morsel. I had believed there was nothing further Aro could do to my conscience, but as the monster slashed the small child's throat, I realized how wrong I had been. I had to watch through him as life drained out of her brown eyes and blood spattered her copper ringlets. The beast was back into his vicious cycle now, glutting himself on the child's innocent blood. I willed myself into silence.

The nightmares began to intrude further and further into reality, as the guards began to take on the characteristics of my family and friends. Carlisle laughed at the beast's nakedness and filth, jeering about the state into which I had fallen. Emmett manhandled me to the wall as Alice laughed, using her skills to hold the beast still so that the child's drained body could be removed. Rosalie arched her elegant eyebrow from just behind Aro as she stood barely touching his robes. Jasper and Jacob cleaned the room of every item, their laughter echoing in the empty chamber. Esme stood against the wall, sneering. I didn't see Bella or Nessie. I was to be denied even the benefit of seeing them when I was being taunted.

The door to the chamber slammed and one thought became apparent. We had been left here as an experiment. The thoughts of the guards surrounding the door echoed the sentiment. How long could a vampire survive without blood and what happened as a vampire's body ceased to function? It would seem that, sooner or later, they would find out.

Time passed.

**********

The monster had grown weak. He now prowled around me, inside the body that lay decimated on the floor. Hunger had long passed. I saw my body through his eyes. Our prison was now as gaunt as the body of a holocaust victim. So, in the end, it would seem that the body, without the restorative powers of blood, would resort back to biological decay. The monster could barely move what was left. In a last effort at self-preservation, he had passively offered me control, but I waited in stillness for peace.

The echoes of the minds around me had long grown into a maelstrom of noises; my power was beginning to fade. I could barely discern individual voices; much less follow their lines of thought. It was with this limited ability that I noticed activity in the hallway. Perhaps they had grown tired of waiting and decided to put an end to the experiment.

The door flew open, and I heard gasps and felt the vibrations of footsteps on the stone floor. Too many thoughts! Pain flashed through my head, and I moaned at the onslaught. Then a pair of hands reach under me, and I was pulled from the floor into a wide set of arms.

And then we were moving; the walls blurring by so fast that I felt like I was flying. I couldn't hear anything anymore. The castle walls were replaced by the night. Then the smell of leather and metal drifted through my consciousness, along with a sensation of motion and stillness. A car? Before long I was in a forest, and I heard an unrecognizable noise and then felt liquid dripping on my face.

"He's not drinking," I heard someone call out.

"I don't think he can," came another voice.

I felt fingers pry at my jaw, but it was frozen shut. "Break his jaw, Emmett."

Sounds of distress accompanied the sound of dried carbon snapping, and then I felt the moisture in my mouth. Hands quickly began to massage my throat. The hunger roared to life, but I couldn't move, not even to grasp what was being held to me. The warm liquid began to trickle slowly down my throat, the cells soaking it up before it traveled too far. The flow stopped too soon. Then another warm body was put to my face, and the feeding began again.

_They're postponing your death! They just want to torture you more. _The monster spoke in my head. My struggles began again, and I jerked my head away, twisting it from side to side to avoid the fluid.

"Why is he fighting it?" Emmett snarled in frustration.

"Em, stop. If he gets his strength back, he's going to fight us," Alice called. "He's gone feral. We'll have to wait until we get him home. Jasper?" and I felt a wave of calm envelop me.

A string of electronic tones interrupted the moment of silence; a cell phone dialing.

"Bella, we've got him" Alice said, but then paused for a moment, listening.

"Look, he's alive and safe; that's what matters. Turn the hostages loose and head for the rendezvous. We'll be there in an hour." Alice sighed as she hung up.

"It's just as well that we needed Bella to conceal the location of the hostages from Demetri. If she'd been here to see this, she would've torn them into little pieces and danced around their funeral pyre."

"And we should have _let_ her," snarled Emmett. "Look at him! We should've made Sulpicia and Athenodora into a fucking bonfire, videotaped it and mailed the ashes and the tape to Volterra!"

"I know, Emmett, but that will have to wait," Carlisle soothed. "For now, though, we honor our deal. We have him back; revenge can wait." A warm hand cradled my head. "Oh, my son. What did they do to you?" His voice broke at the end.

And then I was flying once again.

What followed was a whirling collage of images: strange sights, familiar voices, and half-heard conversations. I could tell I was in the back seat of a car, and that it was still night outside. The scenery rushed by as I stared blankly, not truly seeing.

"It's the strangest thing. He's experiencing multiple, conflicting emotions at once, and they're reacting to each other, almost like there's more than one person there. Can vampires have Multiple Personality Disorder?" Jasper mused

"I don't know," Carlisle muttered. "In all my years, I've never seen anything like this. They must have been starving him for months on end."

"What the hell did they do to him? Alice?" Emmett growled.

"Don't ask me, Emmett; now is not a good time to talk about it," Alice replied

"The hell it isn't! You've been walking around in a daze ever since he got taken, and you wouldn't tell us anything. I _know_ you saw what happened!"

"_Emmett!"_ Jasper snarled.

"STOP IT!" Alice yelled. "_Both_ of you! I did keep it from you, and it was the hardest thing I've ever done, but there were damned good reasons! Just drop it until we get him home! Please."

Silence

"Can we even take him home like this?" Emmett asked.

"We're going to have to," Carlisle responded

The voices faded in and out.

**********

They pulled me from the car as gently as they could. The smell of jet fuel, metal, concrete and oil filled the air.

"Edward!" I heard an oh-so familiar voice cry out, followed by the sound of running footsteps rapidly approaching. Emmett lowered me from his arms into a standing position, with him and Jasper supporting me on either side. I was too weak to stand on my own, and all my weight rested on their arms.

A pair of tiny hands caressed my cheeks and raised my head from where it rested lifelessly, with my chin on my chest. Slowly, gently, the hands lifted my gaze until I caught a glimpse of a face.

Bella.

The monster, again! He had come to finish the job and send me into bowels of hell in the guise of my Love. I harvested every last screed of energy within me, and lunged one last time at the cause of my insanity. Hands grabbed me from behind, as others snatched the monster away just before my teeth reached the hallucination.

"Bella, watch out; his emotions are all over the place," Jasper warned.

The fiend's golden eyes widened at the declaration, and at the sight of my black lifeless eyes. She raised her hands to cover her mouth as she continued to gaze at me; horrified.

My body sagged in the arms of my brothers. The lunge had cost me dearly; I had nothing left…

"Look at him!" Bella choked, her voice seething with rage and grief. "You should've told me, so I could burn those two _bitches_ on the spot. Aro will pay for this if it's the last thing I do! Edward, Oh my God, Edward. What have they done to you?" Her tiny, warm hands caressed my face. How may times had I dreamed this dream? It couldn't be real. The monster seethed at the foreign touch, but we were both too weak to react, aside from a quiet growl.

What was this? Had I finally been rescued? No! I couldn't let myself hope. This had to be some new trick. It had to be.

"What happened to him, Carlisle?" Bella asked. "Why did he attack me?"

"I don't have any answers for you, Bella. We have to get him home and see if we can get him to open up to us. Hopefully, now that we have him back, Alice will be willing to tell us what she's seen. She may be the only way to know what we're dealing with here."

**********

Lying on a couch, a curved ceiling overhead, and the sound of jet engines: we were on a small private plane. The mouthful of blood I had consumed had not been enough to give me any strength, but my senses had cleared. The thoughts still roared in my head, muddled and distorted. But I could hear them talking.

"I'm SORRY!" Alice shrieked. "If you had known what he was going through, you would've charged off to rescue him, and you would've _died_, and he would _still be_ there. I had to wait until I saw a chance for all of us to get out alive, and I swear this is the first chance that has come up. Do you honestly think I would've just left him there this long if there was any possibility of getting him out sooner?"

Bella snarled in response

"Bella," Carlisle cautioned. "Alice, no one is blaming you. We know you had your reasons, but now we need to know what you saw so that we can start to help him."

"It's so horrible," she whimpered in response. "I don't even want to think about it, much less tell you. Bella is going to _snap_ when she hears everything."

Carlisle sighed. "Alright. Is there anything you can tell us now?"

There was a long moment of silence, then a hesitant breath. "He was so strong at the beginning, but I could see him slipping. They would send… people… into the room with him, and he had to choose between killing them himself or letting them get tortured to death by the guards. After a while, when he was alone, he started to talk to Bella, as if she were there in the room with him.

"And then, one day, after he killed one of them, it all seemed to go wrong. He started talking like Bella was in the room again, and then all of a sudden he was shocked and horrified by something, and he crumpled against the wall and just started screaming. It felt like it went on forever, but then it cut off all of a sudden, and he looked up and his eyes opened, and he wasn't Edward any more…"

Her voice trailed off, and she was silent for a long moment. "Everything else has to wait. I can't… I… Jasper?" Her voice broke, fading as she headed forward to join Jasper in the cockpit.

The others were silent for quite a while.

"Well," Carlisle said, finally.

"What happened to him?" Bella pressed.

"Well, until Alice tells us more, I can only make an educated guess, but I have a strong suspicion. Vampires are highly instinctual creatures, most especially when it comes to feeding, but also in other life aspects: mates, self-preservation and the like. In many ways, those instincts form a personality all of their own; one that can take over completely if we allow it. When Edward and I would discuss the matter, he always referred to this part of himself as "the monster"; the instinctual side of him that he fought against to maintain his humanity.

"I think that whatever they did to him was so traumatizing that his mind withdrew from reality. In a human, this would result in a catatonic state. In a vampire, because our instincts are so much stronger, relatively speaking… Well, I think the "monster", as he called it, has taken over completely. Edward is still in there somewhere, but he doesn't want to come out.

**********

Thanks so much to content1 for pushing me to keep working. My muse has been on strike until a few days ago, and content1 is the one who kicked it in the ass and told it to get to work. I'm currently Betaing her story HARVEST MOON, which is arguably the best Post-Breaking Dawn Expanded Universe story EVER! If you aren't reading it, you are missing out on an awesome story that promises to be epic in proportion (and don't forget to read the her other stories: FAMILY TRADITION, A CULLEN CHRISTMAS, and HARVEST MOONS, all of which tie back into the main story)

Thanks also to Gleena, for letting me take a sample of her world home to my lab and see what sort of mutant I can produce. Her story THE COLD WAR, along with its sequel ACTS OF AGGRESSION, is also arguably the best Post-Breaking Dawn Expanded Universe story EVER (and she's doing very interesting things with her new story SOLDIER X)


	4. Chapter 4

For a long moment, no one spoke. And then Carlisle's cell phone rang. His eyes narrowed as he read the caller ID. "Aro."

He held the phone to his ear and simply listened. I was still too weak to hear Aro's voice through the phone, but it was obvious that this conversation wasn't going well. Carlisle's normally calm expression became more and more angry by the second as Aro spoke. Finally, he had enough.

"And _I_ will not forget this _either_, Aro!" Carlisle roared into the phone. "This is _my_ warning to _you_; the Cullen family no longer recognizes the legal or moral authority of the Volturi, who have imprisoned and tortured one of our members without cause. Any member of the Volturi or its Guard found in our territory will be considered hostile, and attacked on sight. In addition, we will be informing our friends and allies of the treatment Edward received at your hands. I'm sure they will all be quite interested to hear this particular story."

He paused for a moment before continuing. "Out of respect for our former friendship, I offer you this advice. If you intend to send any of your puppets against us, make sure to supply them with a properly labeled urn, so that their remains may be returned to you as expeditiously as possible. This conversation is over."

He snapped the phone shut and stared at it for a moment, as if he wished he could grind it into dust.

A chorus of low growls rumbled through the cabin in response to Carlisle's outburst. Rosalie and Esme had been with Bella and joined us at the airport. My whole family, together again. I wanted to succumb to the joy and contentment that the thought brought to me. But I couldn't. It couldn't be real. It could only be another mirage. Soon the torture would begin again. Hope, love, and all the other positive emotions seemed to fuel the nightmares. If I let myself give in, the plane would vanish, and I would be back in the cell in Volterra, being mocked by my torturers yet again. A snarl escaped my clenched teeth at the thought.

"Well, we have some time, but we're going to have to start making some calls," Alice said from the cockpit. "We're going to need our friends again."

"Alice…" Bella began, before she faltered into silence.

"Go talk to him, but don't touch him," Alice answered. "You need to take this very slow. Talk to him about what happened while he was gone."

I tensed as Bella rose from her seat and walked slowly towards the rear of the plane where I lay on a couch. Struggling to focus, my eyes tracked her form as she approached. A weak growl whistled from my lips, warning the apparition to stay away.

The look on her face...such sadness. The monster was never sad; there was no room in his feral outlook for sadness. What was this?

"Don't worry; I won't touch you. I just wanted to come see you. I've missed you so much," she said as she sat on the floor, facing me. Her hands were to her sides, palms down on the floor.

For a long moment, we simply stared at each other, I with wary suspicion, she as though she would be weeping if she could.

"You've been gone so long. I was frantic when you disappeared, then when Alice told us the Volturi had you…she wouldn't give us any details, but she's spent the last year walking around looking sick to her stomach. I was so worried; I was so afraid that the next bit of news we heard would be that you had been executed, and then I don't know what I would've done."

"That bastard Aro wouldn't even respond to questions about you. Of course, he invited all of us to come visit whenever we wished, but we weren't going to fall for that one."

Was this some new trick? Even in the cell, before the monster had cast off his mask, he had never volunteered new information. All of the reassurances were vague, telling me that I needed to survive and that my family would come for me, but never giving me anything that I didn't already know. Had my hallucinations become so acute that my imagination was inventing fiction?

"All we could do was wait for an opportunity, anything that might help get you back to us. Then, two weeks ago, Alice had a vision. Aro and Caius' mates, Sulpicia and Athenodora, never leave the tower, but they do have a secluded outdoor garden on the castle grounds. There was a narrow window of opportunity for us to sneak in and kidnap them."

"We took them, then split up into two groups; Esme, Rose and I took the wives to a hideout; I wanted to be there when we rescued you, but they needed my shield to hide our hostages from Demetri. The others stayed on the move so they couldn't be pinned down. After a while, they called Aro and told him that we would make a trade. He's a selfish, conniving bastard, but he wouldn't risk any harm coming to his mate."

"Carlisle told him we didn't trust him to bring you to us, and that he wanted the tower cleared so that they could come in and get you themselves. You were there for the rest."

"You should have heard those two stuck-up cows, Edward; mouthing off about how this was intolerable, that Aro and Caius would make us suffer, how you deserved what happened to you. I swear I would've killed them if I thought I could still get you safe out of the deal."

Could it possibly be real? I couldn't dare to hope. Hope was painful. Hope was the tipping point of the slippery slope that led back to the nightmares and the horror. But still...

"Nessie's so excited about seeing you again. She's safe at La Push, with Jake and the pack. She wanted to come, but Alice needed to be able to see her visions, and Nessie still blocks them. You should see her; she's grown up so much." At that, her voice broke and she was silent again for a long while.

"We've missed you so much! For the last year, I dreamed about getting you back and having you in my arms. And now that you're here, I can't touch you. I _hate_ it, Edward. I hate what they've done to you! And we will have each other back some day. But for now, it's enough to know that you're here, and you're safe."

Oh, how I wanted to believe. None of the nightmares had ever been this real. The sense of déjà vu was missing in its entirety, and this felt so deliciously new. Oh, how I hoped this was real, that the nightmare had finally come to an end.

Hope.

I crushed the feeling ruthlessly. I had almost given in once more. I tensed, waiting for the nightmare to descend upon me once more.

"Edward, Alice says I can't touch you. I realize that it may be too much for you, but…I was wondering…if it would be okay for me to come closer. I just want to be as near to you as I can. We've been apart for so long."

The monster grew bold with my silence and inched closer to me. The scent of strawberries and freesias flooded my senses. Memories, or dreams, because I still wasn't sure what was real and what was fantasy, washed over me. A heated night on a beach, my dream Bella's skin against mine. A child born of our passion, and the fantasy creatures that sat in the plane with us, surrounding us in pleasure at the miracle of the child. The word "Daddy" echoed in my head. Curly, copper hair.

Matted in red. Brown sightless eyes…

And I withdrew into myself once again. I was a child killer. Killer…monster…fiend…and all caused by the demon in front of me. I began snarling again, and was immediately pinned to the couch. Emmett and Jasper's scents were suddenly strong in my nostrils.

"Bella, honey, I'm sorry that it has to be this way, but he can't handle being that close to you for whatever reason. I almost can't feel Edward in there during those times. He's withdrawing from you."

"I'm not leaving, Jasper," I heard Bella say frantically. "I'm afraid that he thinks I abandoned him before because we had to wait so long to get him back. How would you feel, being stuck in that hell for so long, believing you had been forsaken? Look at him, clearly they tortured and starved him. I don't know anything because Alice won't tell me, but I will _not_ be separated from him again. Don't ask it of me…please."

Jasper looked down at her tortured face, and capitulated. "Just back up a little bit, then. Give him a little more room."

Emmett's face was level with mine and it fueled my belief that I was still in the nightmare. But the Emmett of my dreams was rarely serious, much less morose. The visage in front of me was both. Clearly this guard had not been filled in on the appropriate reactions for my 'family' members. He was going to blow each one of their covers.

"You believe we're part of the nightmare, don't you?" Jasper asked. "You believe that you're still there. Edward, you're safe. We're taking you home. Emmett and I are going to hold you now. We'll keep holding you until we get home, and then we are going to continue holding you until you believe that we won't let go."

I spent the rest of the trip squeezed between the bodies of my 'brothers.' Bella watched me from her seat across the aisle. Her golden eyes stayed fixed on my face as if she was looking for something…anything.

I heard Carlisle make several calls, the last being to Jacob. "Yes, we'll be at the airport in the hour. Keep Nessie at La Push." He then paused. "No, she doesn't need to come home right now, Jacob. Not for…a while. I can't explain, but perhaps some of your brothers could keep Nessie, and you could meet us at the house."

Carlisle turned around and saw me staring at him. The concern in his eyes unnerved me. I closed my eyes and existed silently in the beautiful dream, wishing that it would never end.

When the plane rolled to a stop and the door opened, a barrage of scents hit me all at once. We were not in Volterra; even mixed with the mechanical and chemical scents of the airport, nothing but the wet, green habitat of Washington State could smell like this. I had no strength left to even turn my head and see what waited outside. Could I really be home?

I was lifted from the couch and transferred to a waiting car. My monster stayed close, I could feel it. I knew we were probably about to enter the castle again, ending my tour. Time for the torture to begin anew. I wondered what the purpose of having them drag me on this trip was. They could have forced me to drink the blood at the castle to prolong the torture, and I knew it was the hope they were planning to torture me with. Any ounce of it they could find within me. I crushed what little there was quickly, knowing it would be better to destroy it myself.

"Emmett, carry him to the bathroom and send those blankets to me," Esme instructed as they carried me into the Forks house. "I'm going to burn them. He needs a shower. Alice and I will go hunting for him. Feral or not, he needs to eat. He's gone far too long without as it is."

I felt them unwrap the blankets that had covered my gaunt body as Emmett held me, and then I heard my father hiss and uncharacteristically curse. "Damn it, I'm going to destroy Aro when I have the chance. In all my years of existence, I've never seen a vampire reduced to such a state."

He came to stand before me so that he could look in my face. "Edward, open your eyes if you can."

I cracked my lids slightly, responding automatically to the voice that had always been my authority and salvation.

"I'm going to touch you. I won't do anything without telling you first." He then placed his hand under my chin, turning my face to him. "I know now that there is hope. I know very few individuals who could withstand what you have endured, and I know that it's because you held out hoping for us to come. We did, maybe not as quickly as hoped, but as quickly as possible. You're home now, and we will do everything to help you. First things first, you're filthy and your brothers are going to clean you up."

The feeling of hot water over my skin was delicious, and I moaned in response. I vaguely registered the alien feeling of my brothers washing my body and scrubbing my hair harshly, cleaning off the grime. I heard Bella arguing with Carlisle in the background, and her sobs. Then I heard her footsteps as she begin to walk away. Without thought or provocation, my body attempted to turn in that direction, as if to stop her. Jasper caught on to my emotion and did what I couldn't.

"Bella," he half shouted, "Don't leave, it's making him nervous."

He and Emmett had gone into the shower with me, clothes and all, but Jasper ripped the door open so that I could see her still in the crowded room. Her face held the slightest trace of optimism as she saw me attempting to look at her. Her tense mouth softened into a tentative smile.

What was this? Why had I reacted like that? This creature that tortured me without respite for months on end, and I was nervous when it went away? Was this some bizarre vampire variation on Stockholm syndrome?

"His clothes aren't going to fit, so just bring a robe, Rose," Carlisle said through the doorway.

I was dried and wrapped into something soft and placed back onto a couch back downstairs. Within a few moments, Esme returned with something my body definitely recognized and desired. The smell of blood traveled in front of her. I saw a cup in her hand and remembered words ran through my head:

_Not _clear_, Rosalie._

Esme handed the cup to Carlisle and stood back, holding a trembling Bella in her arms. Rose and Alice stood beside each other, holding hands and staring down at me.

"You have to eat, Edward. I don't want to force you, but you need to drink this."

I caught a glimpse of Esme turning Bella away as Carlisle loomed in front of me. Then my mouth was open and blood was being poured down my throat. Some slipped past my flaccid lips and trickled down my chin, but most went down my throat. Instinct took over finally and my throat began swallowing. The air stirred with a sudden breeze; Alice had run to the kitchen for more. In a moment, she was back, handing Carlisle another glass before I even finished the thought. My eyes closed in weary defeat.

Then the door opened and a horrible smell wafted through the room. It sent my every nerve on edge with the sensation of threat and danger. My body was decimated, and my defensive reactions were limited to a weak snarl, but everyone tensed when they heard what came out of my chest. As the blood began to permeate my parched tissues, the dull roar in my head began to fade and separate out, reforming mumbles and strange pitches into thoughts and images once again.

"_Jacob, stop!_" Bella screamed, and she tore out of Esme's arms, heading toward the stunned man standing across the room staring at me.

_Oh _God_. No. What happened? What have they done to you, Edward? I'll tear them limb from limb. I'll enjoy every moment, treaties be damned. _The shocked thoughts and shaking body of the man in front of me mirrored his horrified thoughts in reaction to my appearance. As Bella drew closer to him, my body again reacted unexpectedly. I was _furious!_ Rage swept through me, and the snarling redoubled. Jacob grabbed Bella and forced her behind him. I saw red and struggled to rise. She realized what was happening as I strained against my brothers.

"He thinks you're taking me away from him, Jacob. Get out of my way. Having a wolf around him might not be the best thing right now."

As she tore around him, headed for me, Jacob started crying and smashed the table in front of him in fury. "Damn bloodsucking leeches! Filthy parasites! I'll kill them all!"

I couldn't focus too much on him, because Bella had violated everything that Alice had said and laid her hand on top of mine when she reached me. She was staring right into my eyes. "I love you, Edward Cullen, and nothing…_nothing_ is ever, ever going to separate us again."

And at last, I let myself feel a tiny pinprick of hope.

**Sorry about the long wait. Apparently I have serious issues with writer's block. All you fans out there should thank content1 for helping shove me over the hump to get this chapter out to you. How can I thank her, you ask? Well, reading and reviewing her story "Harvest Moon", along with its satellite stories "Family Tradition", "A Cullen Carol", and "Harvest Moons", is a good start.**

**Also, a great last minute thank you to Diana Oates, flibertigidget and Say Goodbye Again of the esteemed Project Team Beta, who have all managed to teach me things about grammar this evening that I've somehow forgotten along the way.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** **I decided to streamline the story somewhat and cut the original one-shot in half. The second half replaced the Author's Note on Chapter 2**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

* * *

_As she tore around him, headed for me, Jacob started crying and smashed the table in front of him in fury. "Damn bloodsucking leeches! Filthy parasites! I'll kill them all!"_

_I couldn't focus too much on him, because Bella had violated everything that Alice had said and laid her hand on top of mine when she reached me. She was staring right into my eyes. "I love you, Edward Cullen, and nothing - __nothing__ is ever, ever going to separate us again."_

_And at last, I let myself feel a tiny pinprick of hope._

But I'd had that before; the belief that perhaps things were as they were supposed to be. It was a trick, all of it, my mind rationalized. I _had_ to resist. I didn't know if it was possible to destroy something that was a part of me, but I had to fight, and this was the closest I'd been to him in awhile.

Before he could escape, I latched onto his arm, using the strength borne by the blood I'd been fed. A blur of motion, and I was against a wall in the room, my arm wrapped around the monster's neck and the other grabbing its head, ready to separate it from the treacherous body. For a moment, I registered the silky feel of the hair sliding through my fingers. Something was wrong, but the chaos around me left me unable to discern just what it was.

I heard the screams of the women in the background, but my eyes were locked on Jasper as he slowly moved towards me. I snarled loudly, tightening my grasp on the monster's head, and I heard several gasps from around the room.

'Jasper' stopped, as if he sensed my desperation. These guards were good; they'd been tutored in every aspect of my hallucinations.

"Carlisle, he's going to hurt Bella if we come any closer. We have to hold back," he whispered.

_He thinks that Bella is someone different. He doesn't believe she's real._ Carlisle's thoughts were a roiling mixture of sorrow, compassion and horror.

A familiar scent wafted through the air, infusing my nostrils with something that called to me. _Home,_ it seemed to say, and the word _Peace_ echoed faintly in my mind. I shook my head, attempting to dispel the lies.

In that second, I saw the one called Jacob step even closer and I screamed at him, a snarling, hissing screech better suited to the mountain lions I had once hunted. The one impersonating Emmett threw his arm out, stopping the dark skinned man.

I lowered my mouth to the creature's neck, ready to slash open the skin in rage. I would enjoy tearing into my tormentor first before ending his life. Even if the guards destroyed me afterward, it would be pleasing to see the headless body thrown across the floor.

But when my lips touched the skin, I felt something lurch inside of me. The monster welled up, grappling for control. He wrestled the power away, shoving me aside, protecting her from me. I panicked, as I saw him turn Bella to him, to us. I saw her standing unafraid, her golden eyes staring back trustingly.

If he was still here with me, then…who was this person that he cradled protectively in our arms? He drew her in close, our every breath inhaling the strangely familiar fragrance in great gasps. I felt weak in the knees as the scent overwhelmed us. And then I heard her voice in my mind.

_Edward, I know you're in there somewhere. Please come back to me. I need you. Nessie needs you. The whole family needs you. We'd never hurt you. Please read my mind! See that it's me. It's not a trick. I'll stand here with you forever if I have to, and if you have to hurt me to prove it, then so be it. But know this: I'll love you no matter what. _

The words ended, replaced by a collage of images of the two of us together: our first kiss, our wedding day, the first time we held Renesmee together, our first night in the cottage. It was Heaven, after more than a year of Hell, and I closed my eyes and savored it.

In that instant, I was slammed against the wall, and she was torn from my arms. My eyes flew open, and I roared at Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle as they once again pinned me in place. I fought like a wild animal, trying to get back to her. I needed to see it again. It was imperative that I hold _her_ again, but I couldn't quite break free. I heard Bella screaming for them to stop, but Jacob struggled to keep her away. He was keeping us apart, and with a flash of memory, I realized that it wasn't the first time. Oh God, could this be real…?

"Bella!" I rasped out in agony and need, and everything went still. Except for her. Bella tore herself free and ran forward to grab my hand again through the mass of bodies that were restraining me.

I was balanced on the edge of a knife. Bella was holding my hand, but was it really her or another phantasm, courtesy of the monster? I had let myself hope, and that had long been the slippery slope leading back to nightmares and madness. But she was still here. My family remained. The seconds continued to tick by, and nothing changed.

I wanted to bask in the light of this long forgotten emotion, but it terrified me. I had been so long in the darkness, and painful experience had taught me to fear stepping into the light. I feared the horror that I knew waited to snatch me up if I let my guard down, even for a moment. I began to withdraw, shutting down, welcoming the darkness, but held onto the hand clutching mine with all my might.

"Edward?" Jasper gasped.

"Jasper, what is it?" Bella asked.

Jasper was silent for a moment. "I felt hope for just a second, but then it vanished as though it never existed. It was almost like he consciously crushed it, like he refuses to believe this is real."

I heard Bella's voice. "Okay, Alice, enough is enough. I'm tired of the stalling. I need to know what happened."

My gift had returned full force, and as Alice stood frozen, I watched a series of horrific images flash through her thoughts. She had seen everything that I had experienced, the shame, the guilt, the murder, the starvation, and she had kept it to herself for a year. Now another vision flashed through her mind, of the carnage that would ensue once she finally revealed the details of my captivity.

"Edward," Alice whispered, "I'm sorry."

Then she told them.

* * *

The living room was in a shambles.

Bella was pinned to the floor by Rosalie and Esme as she alternately snarled in rage and wept in tearless sobs. She had held my hand through it all, restraining herself in stony silence as Alice laid it all out. Externally calm, the rage flowing off of Bella had been palpable, especially through Jasper's senses.

When Alice finally stopped speaking, Bella had erupted like a volcano. She had ripped her hand from my grasp and literally gone berserk. Wordless shrieks of rage and vile threats against Aro and the Volturi accompanied a whirlwind of physical violence. There were several gaping holes in the walls, and a floor-to-ceiling window had been shattered when Bella threw a couch through it.

Through it all, I had slumped in the grasp of my father and brothers. They were hearing it for the first time, but I had lived it. Alice's visions were painful to watch, but nothing compared to having actually experienced it.

Jacob had vanished into the woods once Alice had finished. He hadn't even bothered with the steps, leaping off the porch and phasing in mid-air, striving to drown his rage and grief in the blinding instincts of a running wolf. There was no telling when he would be back.

Jasper was snarling under his breath as he absorbed the emotions of the room. Everyone was enraged, even Carlisle. Alice sat in one of the chairs with her knees tucked up to her chest, silent and wounded after finally divesting herself of the horrible secret she had kept for so long. Jasper longed to go to her and comfort her, but he knew that his duty was here, protecting his family.

Emmett was seething. He had always prided himself on his strength and his role as the defender of this family. Seeing me in my current state and hearing what I had gone through was like a knife in his heart. As far as he was concerned, he had failed us all, and wanted nothing more than to dash into the forest and demolish every tree and boulder he could lay his hands on. Rosalie's ire matched Emmet's in every way, and she pictured her teeth slashing at Aro's throat even as she worked to restrain Bella.

The thoughts of Carlisle and Esme, normally the embodiment of love and compassion, were almost unrecognizable. Their minds were filled with outrage and righteous indignation with the realization of what had been done to me, their son.

Only Bella's thoughts remained closed to me. That was both entirely as it should be and completely unacceptable. Even pinned to the wall, the monster was focused not on the immediate threat of my captors, but on Bella's prone form as she alternated been thrashing rage and catatonic grief. I struggled with him for control as he reached out to her, but he resisted me as always.

His outlook was so simple, almost pure instinct. He had no regret for anything that he had done. To him, it was about survival, plain and simple. His mate was in pain and needed comforting, and that was all he knew. I receded again into the shadows between the painfully bright reality and the darkness of the nightmares and watched as he held his hand out with a growl, his eyes locked on Bella.

"Bella…" Carlisle said tentatively

If she heard him, she gave no response, still wrapped in agony on the floor.

"Bella, come here. He wants you," Jasper said. "I think it'll be alright."

Slowly, she raised her head from the ground and looked up at us. I could see my face reflected in her eyes, expressing a combination of protectiveness and fierce watchfulness.

Esme and Rosalie released her as she stood up. With the utmost care, she made her way across the room, reaching out to touch the outstretched hand. Still growling, he pulled her closer into a protective embrace. Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper relaxed their grip and cautiously moved away as the growl shifted into a comforting purr. Bella collapsed into the embrace and began to sob with relief as she buried her face in our chest.

The monster buried his face in her hair, breathing deeply, radiating utter contentment.

I had to know.

All this time, I had resisted and fought for control. This time, I tried a different tack. He was so certain of whom he held in his arms, but I couldn't be certain until I asked.

I drew in another intoxicating breath filled with her scent, and as I exhaled, I whispered a simple question.

"Are you real?"

I heard my family's sudden gasps as Bella stiffened in my arms. She raised her head and looked up at me, enraptured.

"Yes. I'm real," Bella whispered back. "We're all real. I know it's hard to believe, but it's over. You're here with us, and you're safe, and I will never let them touch you again."

I sighed out a breath, and let myself fade back into the shadows. I had existed there too long to be comfortable in the light. I couldn't stay. I would let the monster hold sway for now, but perhaps the light was not as dangerous as I thought.

"Jasper, what just happened?" Emmett asked.

"Edward came back," Jasper said thoughtfully. "He's gone again, but for just a couple seconds, he was back."

"What about the rest of it?" Rosalie asked. "When we first got him back, he was ready to attack Bella on sight, but now he's changed completely."

It was Carlisle who answered this time. "As I mentioned on the plane, our instinctive side is very powerful, especially with regards to food, mates and personal survival. I think the starvation and the mental torture reduced him to madness, and he was ready to attack anything on sight. On top of that, for whatever reason, Bella incited powerful emotive reactions in both halves of his psyche. Now that he's been fed and he's home safe, the 'monster' is becoming more rational. Edward's human self may be hiding from reality, but the vampire self recognizes his mate and instinctively wants to protect her."

"But why did he want to attack her at first?" Rosalie pressed.

Carlisle sighed. "I don't think we can know that until we can get Edward to respond to us. Right now, though, I think the monster may actually be the key to getting him to open up. Edward's question indicates that he's aware of what's going on around him; he's just choosing not to interact with it. We need to get him involved in our lives, let him see that this is real and not some hallucination. It may be the only way to reach him."

Alice had been watching from her curled up position in the chair. Now her eyes went blank with the characteristic blank stare of a vision. I watched it through her thoughts.

_Me, in the forest, crouched forward aggressively, my nostrils flaring as I catch the scent of prey, then I spring forward._

_Bella and I, on the couch. I am sitting, while she lies stretched out, with her head on my lap. She is reading to me; I am staring at her, mesmerized._

_Me, sitting at the piano, feathering lightly over the keys, not playing, just feeling. Bella stands behind me, her hands on my shoulders._

_Bella and I, in our meadow, lying on the grass in each other's arms, eyes locked onto each other. We are speaking, but the vision is silent and the words cannot be heard. There is something different about my face…_

"It'll work," Alice finally pronounced. "I can't say how long it will take, though. And he won't be the same Edward; with what he's been through, a change is inevitable."

They all considered that for a moment.

Predictably, it was Emmett who broke the silence. "So, when do we start? I say we take him hunting. If he's got the energy to pin Bella and hold her hostage, I bet he's ready to go out and take down some mountain lion."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Jasper asked. "If he's running on pure instinct, we won't be able to stop him if he catches a human scent."

"We'll just take him up into the wilderness areas and make sure we scout it out in advance," Emmett responded. Then his smile turned mischievous. "Besides, what are you worried about, Dr. Phil? It'll be just like babysitting a newborn, but without the strength."

Jasper glowered at his brother for a moment before turning to Alice. "Want to scout for us?"

She stayed motionless in the chair as her eyes went blank for a moment. "All clear. You won't run into anyone, but I'll come along anyways." She picked herself up out of the chair and bounced over to him with a smile. I could sense Jasper's relief; apparently this side of Alice had been missing for a long time.

"I'll come, too," said Esme. "It'll be nice to see him hunt again."

"We'll all come," Rosalie chimed in. "We've been apart too long to separate again over a little hunting trip."

The familiarity was settling in. The monster was still a little wary, instinctively reacting to the presence of other vampires and constantly analyzing them for potential threats. Underneath it all, however, there was a sense of peace and familiarity, as though we belonged.

Bella pulled out of the embrace and took us by the hand. She did not pull me towards the door, but her intent was obvious.

"Come on, Edward. Let's go hunt," she said with a hopeful smile.

The monster moved towards her and she pulled away, guiding him out the back door as the rest of the family followed.

He took one step outside and was frozen in awe.

The sun had come out through the clouds, granting the rainy, mossy forest a rare blessing of light. The sun shone in rays through the mist and the trees and fell on our gathered family. Our skin sparkled under the sun's rays.

I had been stuck in a cell deep underground for over a year. Even during my rescue, I had been too dazed and weak to take in my surroundings. This was the first time I had truly seen the sky and the sun since the day I had been taken, over a year ago.

My family waited around me as I stood frozen, simply breathing in the gloriously familiar air of home. Bella approached me again and curled up into my side. The monster purred in contentment.

I lost track of how long we stood there, just staring into the sky. Finally, the persistent clouds of the Olympic Peninsula returned, concealing the sun once more.

"Come on, bro," Emmett teased as he punched me in the shoulder, "aren't you hungry?"

The monster growled in return, but there was no rancor, only a sense of familiar exasperation.

Bella pulled away again, and this time, the smile on her face was impish.

"Catch me if you can," she giggled as she darted into the woods.

The monster lunged after her, chasing her into the woods with gleeful abandon as our family followed behind. As he ran, I let loose and let myself fly with him.

* * *

**Ok, so I can't blame writer's block on this one; I was just lazy. I waited three weeks to even start writing, but once I started writing, I banged out this chapter in less than 8 hours. I'm sure content1 would be chasing me with a cattle prod if she could. Regardless, here it is.**

**Welcome, one and all, to my new Beta, duskwatcher2153. Show your appreciation for helping make this story even better by reading and reviewing her completed Twilight fic, A Litany At Dusk (look for it on my profile).**

**Thanks to content1 for the jump-start. Thanks to Gleena for letting me play with her scenario, as well as the pimping she gave me on her latest chapter of Acts of Aggression. Thanks to the lovely ladies at PTB for their Beta services. I can't say enough good things about Harvest Moon by content1 and The Cold War / Acts of Aggression by Gleena. Both stories are on my profile, and you really should be reading them.**


	6. Chapter 6

**NOT AN UPDATE**

No, I have not abandoned the story. This Author's Note will eventually be replaced with a chapter, so if you would like to be able to comment at that time but still wish to respond, I suggest you do so by PM.

The last year has been absolute Hell for me, for a variety of reasons, and I am still not entirely out of the woods. What energy I do have is currently focused on Betaing content1's Full Moon Rising, the sequel to Harvest Moon.

Speaking of, I know some of you have requested seeing the Volturi get justice at the hands of the Cullen family, and I will not be including that. This story will be about Edward and his healing. This will not be an epic, sweeping story, leading up to a vampire war between the Volturi and the Cullens. If that is something you are interested, please read Harvest Moon. Strictly speaking, there are only so many ways that the Volturi can be outsmarted and defeated without massive casualties on both sides, and I like my fiction to have a happy ending.

To those of you who have waited faithfully, thank you very much for your support, and I will do my best to make sure that that support is rewarded.

Until next time…


	7. Chapter 7

Ok, so I lied. I do actually have to abandon this story. But fear not, for someone else has agreed to take up the reins. I have been so busy lately with life and my new job that I simply no longer have the time or the internet access to be able to give Downward Spiral the attention it deserves. My long-time cohort in Twilight stories, the amazing content1, has agreed to adopt Downward Spiral. She is going to wait until one of her current projects is complete, only a few chapters from now, and then she will pick up DS from where I left off. I have agreed to continue as a pre-reader, so my input in the story will remain; I just won't be the one at the helm. You may find content1's profile here: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2022542/content1

Put her on your author alerts, and FFn will e-mail you when she starts posting DS. She's going to copy over the current chapters and post them under a new story on her own profile.

Thank you all so much for your interest and your wonderful reviews. They really have meant a lot to me, and are the main reason I went looking for someone to adopt Downward Spiral instead of abandoning it completely.


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